Tomorrow begins a National Holiday in my household. Tomorrow, Mexico kicks off the 2010 World Cup against the host nation South Africa, 10 am (EST) on ESPN. And with that, allow me to predict what will happen over the month.
GROUP A: Mexico will win all 3 of its matches. France, thusly, will not, but will manage to accumulate enough points to finish second.
GROUP B: Despite having one of the worst coaches making the decisions from the sideline (yeah, I know, it's not nice to criticize Maradona. Deal with it!), Argentina will coast through the group with its only tough match coming against Nigeria, who will run with them and finish second.
GROUP C: I really want to pick the USA to beat England and the gods of soccer know I will be rooting for not only a USA victory but a USA romp (with Landon Donovan cracking one off the head of John Terry which results in an own goal!), but I need to go not with my heart but with my head. USA 3, England 2! What? My heart and head work in tandem. Surprise!. England finishes second, getting in with a 1-0 win over Slovenia on June 23.
GROUP D: Not too many folks are talking about Germany, which is fine with those boys. They go 3-0. Australia surprises here and gets to the Round of 16.
GROUP E: The Dutch are loaded. Finish on top at 3-0. Cameroon gets in when 0-2 Japan upsets Denmark on June 24.
GROUP F: The defending champs Italy struggle in their opener but get by Paraguay and then explode vs. Slovakia to finish first. Paraguay gets in the Round of 16, beating New Zealand (maybe the worst team in the tourney proper) on June June 24.
GROUP G: What a group of play this will be. Brazil gets North Korea in the opener. It will be a tough task as North Korea plays with 4 goalkeepers and 6 defenders and one front runner who is actually a midfielder. No joga bonito here but a win nonetheless. Brazil goes 3-0. Portugal goes 2-1 and gets in on goal differential.
GROUP H: Spain can pretty much play its JV squad and finish first and second. But because there are rules that say a country can only enter one team, Honduras places second.
ROUND OF 16: Mexico over Nigeria. USA beats Australia. The Dutch beat Paraguay. Brazil over Chile. Argentina over France. Germany knocks England out. Italy narrowly defeats Cameroon. Spain KO's Portugal.
QUARTERFINALS: USA soundly beats Mexico in a bloodbath. The Dutch tell Brazil to take their joga bonito back home 'cause it ain't workin' here! Italy takes out Spain. Argentina takes out Germany.
SEMIFINALS: USA no match for The Dutch. Italy plays boring soccer and nips Argentina.
FINAL: Italy 3, The Dutch 1.
POST CUP NEWS: It's a Coaching Nightmare. Maradona is asked to politely step down. Brazil tells Dunga they want jogo bonito back. Dunga says no. Brazil says goodbye. Raymond Domenech (the world's worst soccer tactician) is done as coach of France. Les Bleaus fans rejoice. Domenech ends up as coach of the Red Bulls. USA's Bob Bradley gets an extension but steps down so he can coach the Red Bulls, who fire Domenech two days after hiring him because newly acquired star Thierry Henry says "me or him, your choice." Fabio Capello steps down as England coach to take over the Red Bulls who realized that Bradley had already the team and well, he didn't do so well. No big deal. Bradley gets rehired by USA. Bradley hires Alexi Lalas as assistant since Lalas knows more about soccer than anybody else. No, really, he does. Just ask him. Lalas declines the offer to take over as director of everything coaching in France. He grows his beard back and Les Bleaus fans love him. Lalas lasts only 2 weeks. ESPN gives him an offer he can't refuse. Which is good news for us soccer fans because, in all honesty, Lalas is the only soccer announcer on ESPN not afraid to say something negative about David Beckham, who gets hired by England to coach the national team.
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